Saturday, November 8, 2008

Tangy tribulations


She came on her Honda, vrooming neatly into the parking lot. Hair check. Makeup check. Dress check. Confidently she strode into the hotel.

He arrived moments later in his car. Parked and wondered which kind of idiot parked bikes in a lot clearly meant for cars. He disheveled his hair, smacked his lips and walked into the hotel.

“What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have a panagam, please”

“One neer mor for me”

The ass is starting with mor? Sigh…So this was it Pushpavalli thought. Her parents had set her up with this random guy. Hell it was exactly a setup, but they preferred to call it a meeting. Whatever. She couldn’t refuse, might as well see what happens.

“So what do you do?”

“I’m an actuary” …Or at least that’s what I’m supposed to tell outsiders.

“I’m…err…a banker” Like I’m telling you what I really do.

“Appetizers?” The waiter, a really good impression of SPB appeared as if from nowhere.

“Fried lentil puffs with the green coconut sauce please”

“I’ll just have some thattai with ricotta cheese and north Indian date sauce”

The waiter quietly disappeared.

Such was their conversation. Trivial things and the weather. Time, as it does, passed.

“Can I take your order?”

“Err Ill have the Shallots in tamarind sauce, over a bed of fragrant thanjavur rice”

“I err wanna have the eleven vegetables in coconut sauce over raw red rice”

-eh? Foreign cuisine aa? Hmph!

May I tempt you Sir? And Madam? We have a fine cellar. A Yercaud 1927 for the shallots? Vintage year it was. The Nellai ’51 is good too, but it goes better with drumsticks, would to care to sample it?

“Yercaud ’27 it is”

“And for you?”

“Just a toddy”

-what a Philistine!

And the meal continued amidst lies and half-truths.

“And we come to dessert the waiter smiled as he cleared the plates.”

“Roasted vermicelli in milk for me”

“I’m good”

“I insist you end with a sweet” she smiled and said.

“Ok then the rice marinade in jaggery, please”

Gastronomic successes often translate into other spheres. Later that night she shyed and smiled as they ate peanuts on the beach, holding hands. He let her drive the bike, enjoying the humid sea breeze as they sped past Samudra Avenue. 3796 rupees well spent.

21 comments:

Prashanti :) said...

hey buddy,
nice post. specially the eating peanuts-holding hands-driving the bike part.

Prashanti

gradwolf said...

dooooooodddddddddddd....engyoooooooo poitaa da...

simply brilliant.....

swatimala said...

some1 is gng thru a major bout of lovesickness...

Vivek said...

English translations for the various dishes just TOO GOOD!
Nice!

chutneycase said...

Lol. What translations. genius.

sthitapragnya said...

Gourmet date eh? Nice! LOL @ toddy.
Ok! Correct me if I'm wrong -
fried lentil puffs with green coconut sauce - Vada and chutney
thattai with ricotta cheese and north Indian date sauce - Paneer pakoda??
Shallots in tamarind sauce, over a bed of fragrant thanjavur rice - Sambar and rice??
eleven vegetables in coconut sauce over raw red rice - Avial and rice
Roasted vermicelli in milk - Payasam
rice marinade in jaggery - Chakkera Pongali

Historiophile said...

this was intriguing and interesting...especially those English translations of rather traditional dishes and then downing it with a drink! pardon me, but i was surprised..which joint in Chennai is this??
tell me something have u made all these translations come from memory or by Googling (though either way it is amazing work)

So was the girl finally won over by the choice of dessert??...gosh that will make it easier to rem'ber one dish rather than the whole ensemble

Brilliant, riveting write.

buddy said...

@prashanti: no peanuts in america. :(

@gradwolf: thanks

@swatimala: the post is about food. idiot

@vivek: thanks

@chutneycase: naan dhaan next einstein

@karthik: spot on. glad u liked it

@historiophile: dude its in the future and no googling..i can cook
and yes i could call it the taming of pushpavalli by food..lol :)

vitruvian said...

yea right u can cook bala!!

but u are a true gourmand!! lol...
u can make food sound soooo pretentious dude!
:P

maxdavinci said...

this is yor best post till date. I shall refrain from any smartass comments as it will spoil the flavor...

more power to yor blog!

Elusive said...

this one is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had me in splits!! Complete entertainment!

padmaja said...

:) Good one! I thought shallots in tamarind sauce was vatthal kozhambu!

buddy said...

@vitruvian: why shouldnt south indian food be pretentious?

@max: more power dude!

@elusive: thanks

@padmaja: arachi vidada vengaya sambar :)

maami said...

gourmets say that food and pleasure are closely related and a good meal can lead to better things...

@padu:shallots is kutti vengayam- yum yum

buddy said...

better things...im such a prude maami
kutti vengayams are yum!

Anonymous said...

Buddy,
My first visit here - you write amazingly well. I went through almost all your posts in one sitting. Will be back for more.

Best wishes,
Mamatha

Karthikk said...

bala, its okay even if you dont cook, atleast you know what goes into what.. nice post.. keep it up buddy!!!

buddy said...

@ mamatha: welcome to this space. Thanks :)

@karthikk: grrrrrrr

Fat Gujju! said...

dude .... amazin ....
food ... mannn u made me hungry n translations were exceptionally well executed!
i cud get only payassum, oders i din knew abt originals so english was out of scope!
but seriously sexy stuff!

swatimala said...

i got the food part u idiot....

moron...

i meant u were lovesick bout food

aditi said...

it was a nice write up BRBer...

i thot end le....the girl will reject the boy...cha they held hands also...

but they only met in the morning na ?