Thursday, May 7, 2009

Exercise


I woke up groggy and sleepless. A tangle of arms and legs greeted me. And slowly a head emerged from within. “Good morning beta, welcome home” Appa’s head said to me. Thinking myself to be in a surreal Kafkaesque dream, I promptly went back to sleep. Seconds later a leg landed on me, pushing all the wind out of me. “Sorry, I haven’t quite mastered this asana” again Appa’s head spoke to me. I opened my eyes fully and Amma stared at me, nothing unusual in it, except that she was upside down. Jet lag is funny I thought.


A few minutes later I was completely awake, although my body believed it was still ten time zones away. And I got a feel of the situation at home. “One must be healthy, we aren’t getting any younger you know”. The parents had discovered Yoga. What followed was a bewildered me being demonstrated a series of bodily positions I never believed possible, especially from the ones who had birthed me. Appa effortlessly rolled himself into a series of punctuation marks and enquired to my well being. On the other side of the room, Amma was breathing like a wounded rhinoceros. “Advanced Pranayama...good for the stomach you know” she said.


And the house was in the throes of extreme fitness. Mornings started with a pod of garlic. No wonder the milkman left, and the paper fellow doesn’t come in until nine I mused. Breakfast was a minimalistic fruity affair. Lunch was seasoned with queer strange smelling herbs. Dinner almost did not exist. Hedonistic I balked at such austereness. And craved for ghee dripping form edible surfaces. Instead I am supposed to do crunches. Something about me having a non-flat stomach.


Pah!. Homecoming.


* I am home for a vacation. And this is what happens.

27 comments:

kusublakki said...

ROFL @ punctuation marks!!

I suggest you take it a step further. Go to the gym and build some muscles.

PS: Seen any taporis yet??

Gradwolf said...

yoga eh? Hahahahaha...I thought you have a rubber for a body and twist and turn any way you want. You'll become a star among your parents' peers.

And btw, jet lag eh? Thooo...It is so overrated. Ennaku onnum therila :p

RukmaniRam said...

aiyo pavam. instead cook up some of the ghee dripping stuff and serve to parents to remind them what they are depriving you of.

swatimala said...

ROFL

hahahahahaa

welcome home :)

Idling in Top Gear said...

Nice! Welcome to my world. My parents have been on an almost naturopathic food program for the last 9 odd years I've spent in America! :D

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Yoga...very nice! :)

PS: Enjoy ur trip.

Prashanti :) said...

LOL !!!!!!

you in india !!!! dont waste any time on yoga shoga ... butter naans, kebabs, ghee dosas and coconut rice is the way to go :)

maxdavinci said...

see now you know the adv of a flat tummy!

you should ride your tuk-tuk early in teh morning to joggers park or something and then run behind those pretty ladeej who take their cocker spaniels for morning walks!

Vivek said...

ha ha ha ha!
Enjoy home sweet home!
Nothing like it!
:D

chocoliciousgal said...

hahahahahahah...ROTF...This Yoga thingi is such a pain....and I can totally relate to the 'no frills' diet ur parents r putting u through...

All this while u lucky creature u've been given the gift of eating w/o gaining an ounce of weight...suffer witht he remaining of us lesser mortals I say :P

Hilarious post though bala...the vaccatn seems to be doing good :)

Coconut Chutney said...

chennai, youre in?

ANd jet lag n all is only for sappais :P

buddy said...

@kusublakki: the human semicolon :)

@gradwolf: dont thoo at paavams who cant sleep anytime anywhere...apparently i am flexible

@RukmaniRam:that would involve me entering the kitchen! aiyooo

@swatimala: :D

@idling: veteran. thalaivaaaa

@anonymous: thanks

@prashanti: yeah!

@max: and be like a modern day 'guru'..nice plan..i likes

@vivek: and the craziness continues

@chocoliciousgal: thanks. and i cant eat any more salads!

@chutney: jet lag soppai aa? patta dhaan theriyum andha kashtam!

Perception said...

Hahhaha, reminds me of my Ma'e never ending yoga lectures on phone :)

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Do it man! ;) Some people do it to gain weight. Mebbe you can try that kind of Yoga :D

And see if Yoga can also teach you how to fry eggs? :D

Liberal said...

nice one...I wish i heard the vocal version of this one...would have enjoyed that more; you are gonna love this trip man...that december thing was too small na? anyway...eat at kunj vihar and sardar pav bhaji and all those..describe them to me...i need to live vicariously!

rads said...

LOl! I Totally understand your pain :(

"enjoy" your vacation. Go eat ice cream, just don't plan it with lavs tho, she'll just ditch you and go away with her paatti :p

Chiju said...

with all the idli, chtuney here.. they thought that you needed some other breakfast!

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

ha ha ha.. the wounded rhinoceros was an awesome trope! I thought yoga was kind of wierd.. especially the sound. Probably the results are good. Thankfully, my parents just go for a morning walk and thats it :D
Despite al this, is the craving for home which is the beauty of it :D

buddy said...

@perception: phone yoga?

@nandini: shhhh..no eggs.!

@liberal: more posts coming your way!

@rads: lets see..lets see

@chiju: pancakes and waffles..

@vibhushan: amen

Srividya said...

This is a nice post ... I think the comment on the punctuation marks was in particular ... apostrophic! :D

Perception said...

Lol! Phone yoga.

Anjana R said...

Yoga is the new Vacation. :)

Sneha said...

learn some you uncouth yield of scholars! Your progenitors are in better shape than their flabby, flaccid, formless son! Stop blogging seating your tardy arse on a chair and go take a walk

padmaja said...

haha... you poor thing! that is why I repeatedly tell u to start cooking!!!
BTW, yoga is a very, very good way to start the day!

maami said...

Om Sweet Om goes the pranayam mantra...

Ms Taggart said...

Hahaha... See your parents are on the right path!
How is the stomach doing after the crunches?

Aaarti said...

hahahaha.. Dad and punctuation marks had me ROFL...

Cool blog u got here!!