Saturday, December 20, 2008

Yuletide joy

The sun shone in the mellow way that it sometimes does. It was a cold morning and a little boy was excited. For this was the day Santa brought gifts! He had carefully hung out socks and an old muffler. They did not possess stockings and mittens, in fact,he actually had no idea what a mitten was. Since he was only eight, we excuse him for thinking it was some kind of a kitten. He just hoped that Santa would accept a sock and a muffler as a suitable receptacle for placing goodies.

Vimalambal woke early. It was margazhi, the holy month and it was said that getting up early would ensure a spot in Vaikuntha. She was getting old and did not want to take any chances. Savitri, her arch rival had most conveniently expired on a holy day and if savitri was in heaven, then by hell (pun unintended) she was going there too.Plus It was Vaikuntha Ekadasi. After her bath, she mumbled prayers and fiddled for the light switch in the hall and her hand hit something.

"Aiyyo" . Her screams woke the entire household. Appa thought she had fallen and broken her hip. Amma chastised appa for thinking that way and guessed (rightly) that some blasphemy had occurred. "I have touched socks..Which fool has placed them here? Chah..im all impure now! fie fie*"

A few strong cups of coffee later the mystery was cleared. I was reading to many Enid Blyton's and in all my naivete had believed Santa mama to come bearing gifts. Also I have never seen my parents laugh so hard. Ever. The events also sparked off a series of cheap jokes on me and socks. To this day it rankles. Most children rejoice at the thought of Christmas. I cower in fear of lame jokes and people dangling socks under my nose (smelly ones at that).

To be fair to Vimalambal (name changed to protect identity) and the others, I shall narrate this too. Later in the day she called her grandson and gave him a 100 rupee note. for Christmas, from Santa mama. His parents also got him gifts. Awww..happy family moment. His parents also later discreetly cautioned him against getting such ideas during Easter. He was expressly forbidden to get eggs of any sort, lest Viamlambal throw a royal, purple fit.

*replaced. This is a family-friendly place. And words uttered by old ladies sometimes put the most reprobate to shame, notwithstanding holy months or days.

17 comments:

Gradwolf said...

ROFL.....super stuff....you have it in you to bulb bright all and very consistent at that!

Prashanti :) said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is super!!!! I can almost see vimalambal in my head :)

Prashanti

maxdavinci said...

i tried hiding teeth under my pillow, no money came only ants came.

I tried burying them, no money came again.

we made decorated socks in school and put in house. no santa come only spiders came.

only thing is that for christmas plum cake wud be at home. I heard it contains brandy, now you know where all these buddhi came?

Vivek said...

LOL!
This one is for YOU!
http://vivek1186.blogspot.com/2008/12/crapping-creatively.html

Nandini Vishwanath said...

ROTFL! This is you? And Vimalambal is such an unlikely Tam name :P

padmaja said...

Haha! That was so cute! My own 4 year old loves christmas, but terrified of Diwali!!!

buddy said...

@gradwolf: consistent bulb IS a big compliment! thanks!

@prashanti: thanks!

@max: ants came for ur teeth?
and rasam with brandy is pretty good too ;)

@vivek: :O thanks man!

@nandini: well vimalambal isnt the true name..im protecting her identity ;)

@padmaja: terrified aa? him or you? ;)

chocoliciousgal said...

awesummm..with a bit of 'awwww' moments thrown in :)

swatimala said...

superb...and thank god...atleast u wrote something

sthitapragnya said...

ROFL!! Nice!! You got only 100? My grandparents used bribe me 250 bucks for every Christmas until I was in 3rd std. to prevent me from fussing over having a tree, dangling a star and sticking up smelly socks around the house! :P I made a whole drum-full of GI-Joes and Leo Mattel trucks that way! Cool No! :D

maami said...

Merry Christmas Bud! I shall fedex a piece of my plum cake. I've soaked the raisins in rum though!

Karthikk said...

too good da.... to the really varied culture we have!!!! :)

Vivek said...

And Another!

http://vivek1186.blogspot.com/2008/12/another.html

buddy said...

@chocholicious: exactly like my family!

@swatimala: thanks

@stith: wow!

@maami: awessum! happy holidays maami :)

@karthikk: yep. we do we do.

@vivek: u pamper me too much! :D :D

kusublakki said...

This is a damn cute post! I still get excited each time I see santa and almost wish I could run and take a picture with him...

lol @ the name vimalambal :)

Fat Gujju! said...

amazing stuff!... few good lines i will cherish:

"She was getting old and did not want to take any chances"

"if savitri was in heaven, then by hell (pun unintended) she was going there too"

"This is a family-friendly place. And words uttered by old ladies sometimes put the most reprobate to shame, notwithstanding holy months or days."

:D

Liberal said...

Nice one...I think u told me a story like this before!